Saturday, January 17, 2004


As i was flipping through a zillion chanels that put out just about that many different shows, equalling in about nothing worthwhile.
Anyway...I happen to pass one particular station of a few other great ones that exsist that had a documentary going on about "illegal workers" here in the states, mainly about the Farm Workers, their plight, and their future or lost dreams.

Being of Mexican Decent myself besides, my heart felt as heavy as the moon and rightly so because my distance was about that far away from my own blood, my own people.
I felt for them and as i sat there in the comfort and security of my "Jacuuzi" relaxing, I felt many emotions being stirred up within my mind and heart.

Two were of how fortunate i am even on my poorest day and the other was how helpless i felt to only see what others were and will continue to go through in life for a little money, a little room and food and ALWAYS something to send home to a place where so many hearts are left, and the pain felt leaving loved ones behind to travel to a land where oportunity not only awaits but more so hostility and manipulation.

I understand how most lack a decent education which just isn't as important as finding work to put "comida on the mesa". Its far from their minds compared to work. Little do they know, put then being from a different place than here changes everything altogether and work regardless of what it might be is what feeds them first, and not an education which might be able to feed them much better...only much later, and its the "now" that counts not so much as the future or career. Can you understand that or am i off? I'm not one to really speak because i never walked in my brother's worn out shoes, but i do sit and listen...and learn. Many are in these fields for the low wages they know aren't right but will continue as long as its something, without complaint, even have the oportunity to be bent over day in and day out.

I understand for the most part, but not really, never having it as rough as to humbly give up their freedom and their rights, being concidered as Criminals because they care to suport or feed their own here or there. I heard how all of their wage income taxes are never returned to them every year. (using a fake S.S card will do that) Being a non-citizen and acknowledged as such is as being too invisible to be rewarded for their hard work, right or wrong, who is just as much a Criminal in either case besides those who hire? But its all justified somehow isn't it?
Those same withheld taxes are the same taxes that help support this country and also to try to prevent them from ever returning if they wanted to see their family ever again. So its just better to bring them all here than to go through that every the time, and this i understand, like it or not.

I find this all so depressing and strange and so alienated but i can't and will not point my finger at anyone to blame. Life isn't fair to all and thats just the way it will continue to be like it or not. So regardless of the "class" of people we are, people will be people... Good, Bad, Poor or not, we are co-exsisting and some "surviving" as best as we can on this small crowded planet we call Earth and with that leads me to just who we really are...Humans. Products of inviroments throughout the city, throughout the world in every nook and cranny. It comes with people to where ever they go, right? Its in their baggage; hopes, dreams, pain, dispair, injustice...all.

Somehow as i sat there taking it all in and wanting it to stop, I wanted to change the channel feeling overwhelmed at times so i wouldn't have to see or hear anymore and my feeling could be spared...
but i needed to know more, i needed more work in my heart.

I knew i would be writing about this the next day as i was deeply inspired to do so for whatever reason...i'm not sure, i just needed to do this.
Now, wheather it makes any sense or not isn't as important as expressing what the heart feels. I am more opt to remain unfeeling and to do as we do, ignor those who we can find to be a "nusance" at times, as many would put it and i understand that too somehow. But regardless, it doesn't make anyone any better of a Human Being by comparing ourselves to the less educated or incomed, not any better only different, and in many cases...insecure and ignorant.

I myself would never do what these people have done or do but then i can't say that now, can i? Thinking we are strong in our life and style? pull the rug out from under and see how many put a gun to their head!
We know the weak-minded crack under presure, maybe some of us here are just as vunerable, but as its said and if applied....Whatever doesn't kill us, CAN (not will) make us stronger.
My point at coming to this end is to only share my own personal thoughts and nothing more. I know i said alot too.

I'm not trying to convince anyone or gain sympathy for any cause. I only leave this open. If the oportunity arises for ME to make an effort to be there with a warm smile for somebody's tired old Grandma or some little sad eyed child passing on the street or to help in anyway to anyone, then i look foward to it cause my life is way too wrapped up in its self and that just isn't what its all about now is it? There is always time if we (I) care enough.
So with all said and sounds good to me and i'll be a little Richer for it.
This i believe is my "food for thought" For anyone who has an ear to hear and a heart to even care....Simply put.

My "comfort zone" is a blessing...but blessings should never be kept to one's self for too long.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

A Poem - A Lost Race

To Live Or Just Survive....

Coming to a land, all so strange all so new
Where people aren't that friendly or can even talk to you...
Not too many really understand where you have been...

Now searching for a place to lay your head
with just enough left at the end of the day to be fed

Work is scarce but it will be found, regardless of pay,
your survival bound
Not asking much, if only for a chance
Working hard all day with little to show, no time to relax, its gone at a glance as is hard earned pay
Always thinking where else to go, to make little more than just sweeping some floor

Missing in your heart those left behind, trying to block it all, out of your mind
if only to stay strong and continue on, as if nothing in your world can be so wrong

Tears will fall as you sit alone in a Cantina, in a strange land
there with your beer, bittersweet is your pain as you drink to forget...
only to remember, you go on for the sake of another, your precious family,
your father, your mother

And some band or the music you play reminds you of a far distant land, you hear the music loud, as loud as you can, hoping to re-live fond memories...
or maybe just to drown out the pain

End of night has finally come,
time to close your tired eyes, dream of their laughter
Soon tomorrow becomes today, and you remember what was told as a child
To bow down your head its time to pray

Or a young woman who came here all alone,
so much danger awaits, in this city she is prone
She must be even stronger than Any Man to survive,
even if a host with a smile, to get good tips yet its not really her style,
On her own two feet she knows she must stand, and stand she will with a humble sort of womanly pride, thats deeply instilled

With lil ones or not this city changes every one who comes...
some sooner, some later, slowly its pace catches you and now your caught
like so many others in this case, in what you soon see and know...
as the real "rat-race".

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Blue Mountain piece/Misc.